Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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