With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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