Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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