If i come over, it means nothing
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
