I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
