I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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