I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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