Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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