And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
