Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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