It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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