my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
