If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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