Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
