Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
