i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
