thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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