Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
