i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize