My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
