Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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