At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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