Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw a hot homeless man
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
