I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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