im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
