Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
