I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
