that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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