Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
