I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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