Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
