I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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