D3 body, D1 cock
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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