i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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