I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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