And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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