Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize