thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
