Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
