I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
