just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
