He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
