STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize