I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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