I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
