she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
