I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
did you just send me my own nude
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
