You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
