Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
