Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
