Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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