that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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