So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
