dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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