Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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