He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
