Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
