you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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