Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
