my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
