never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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