Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
