I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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