Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
