I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
