I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Drake has all the answers
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
